Marriage Archives - Paztuh Mike

Man Unwilling

03/11/2025 by Paztuh Mike

Fresh News, Monday Encouragement, Relationships

Marriage, MondayEncouragement, PAZTUHMIKE, unwilling

😠 I was unwilling…

Ever had your boss assign you a task you absolutely hated? You’re already irritated, but you do it anyway—because, well, it’s your job. The whole time, you’re grumbling, dragging your feet, and when a coworker asks you something, you snap at them. Now they’re wondering, What’s his problem? You finally finish the task, but it took longer than it should have, and you feel drained. Sound familiar? I get it. This is what happens when we obey, but are not willing. Sure, the job gets done, but we leave a mess in the process—hurting those around us, slowing ourselves down, and feeling exhausted. Let me share my story of how I was unwilling.

My pride wanted control…

I’ve been there in my walk with God. My wife has reminded me time and time again to surrender to the process God has for us. Outwardly, I would nod and agree. But inwardly? I was stubborn, resistant. My heart wasn’t truly committed. I followed God’s direction in my actions, but my attitude was all wrong. Deep down, my pride wanted control. I wanted the kind of success the world brags about, even though I knew chasing that would mean disobedience to what God was calling me to.

God met me there!

But when I finally humbled myself and truly surrendered—when I repented, not just in my actions but in my heart—God met me there. He started to give me the grace to change, to obey Him willingly, not grudgingly. That’s when things started shifting, not just in my circumstances, but in me.

See, God isn’t just looking at what we do—He’s looking at how we do it. “For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7 ESV). We can go through the motions of obedience, but if our heart isn’t in it, we miss the whole point. We become numb, just checking boxes instead of truly growing. God wants us fully present, learning, leaning into Him, and walking in obedience with a surrendered heart.

What if my spouse is unwilling?

But what if you’re on the other side of this? What if your spouse is the one who’s unwilling? How do you deal with that? First, pray for them—not with frustration, but with a heart that truly intercedes for them. Bring them before God and trust Him to do the work. Second, have the courage to self-examine. Ask God, Am I also unwilling in areas? Am I leading by example? Sometimes, the biggest way to influence change in someone else is by letting God change you first.

At the end of the day, your spouse has free will—you can’t force them to change.

But when God sees that you’re serious about letting Him work in you, He’ll start working on them too. Be encouraged today!

Monday Encouragement provides powerful, thought-provoking video content designed to inspire and uplift. Led by Paztuh Mike, each episode draws from his own personal struggles and real-life victories, creating a relatable and authentic teaching experience. Through a combination of Scripture, relevant discussions on current events, and heartfelt testimonies, viewers are invited to encounter transformative truths that speak directly to their own lives.

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Broken Trust

03/11/2025 by Paztuh Mike

Fresh News, Monday Encouragement, Relationships

Marriage, MondayEncouragement, PAZTUHMIKE, trust

🤝 I chose to earn my wife’s trust..

Trust isn’t something you just hand out—it has to be earned. I’ve always told people, if someone says, “Just trust me,” that doesn’t mean you should. Real trust is built over time. It’s proven through character, consistency, and experience. But what if you are dealing with broken trust? What do you do then?

Before my wife and I got married, I had to earn her trust. See, I didn’t come from a background that made that easy. Before Christ, I was a manipulator. I had a player mindset, something that ran deep in my family for generations. It was a stronghold, a generational curse I had to break. Even after I gave my life to Jesus, I struggled to trust that I had truly changed. Has my heart really been transformed? Or was I still the same man, just wearing a new label? That fear kept me cautious, even when it came to love.

Deep down I was afraid…

For eight years, I walked alone—no dating, no sex, just me and God. When I finally met my wife, I thought I understood love, but deep down, I was afraid. Afraid I would hurt her. Afraid I was still the same broken man. My family even questioned me, asking if I truly loved her or if I was just longing for intimacy. The truth is, when a man abstains from sex, it can blur the line between love and desire. Was my love for her real, or was it my desire for intimacy? These doubts, combined with the voices around me, made me wrestle with what love really meant.

One night, I told her I loved her and I truly meant it. But as the words left my mouth, I realized they couldn’t just be words. Words are empty if not backed by action. So I told her, “You need to make me show you that.” And that’s exactly what I did. I honored her, I honored God, and for three years, we remained pure—no sex, no living together, no blurred lines. We faced ridicule from friends and family, but we stood firm. Through premarital counseling, we confronted our baggage together. I proved my love not just by saying it, but by living it—through my perseverance, my commitment, and my integrity.

Love is shown in actions…

Now, when I tell my wife, “I love you,” she believes it. Not because I demanded her trust, not just because I threw the Bible verse at her, Love “always trusts” (1 Corin. 13:7) but because my actions have shown her she can rely on me. And if I were to break that trust today, I know it wouldn’t be restored overnight. Trust takes time to build, but it can be shattered in an instant.

Are you dealing with broken trust?

Whether in marriage or friendship, trust doesn’t just happen—it has to be nurtured. If infidelity has broken the trust in your marriage, seek God’s guidance on whether He wants to restore it. True reconciliation must be Spirit-led. God loves to heal and redeem, but He also loves you too much to leave you in a relationship with someone who continually betrays you and refuses to change.

If you’re struggling with trust or facing betrayal in marriage, I encourage you to watch the full video below the reel. Let God lead you, and take heart—He will show you the right path forward.

Man Full of Pride

03/10/2025 by Paztuh Mike

Fresh News, Monday Encouragement, Relationships

Marriage, MondayEncouragement, PAZTUHMIKE, pride

😠 I had the evil spirit of pride….

Pride is one of the biggest things that can trip us up in our walk with God. A lot of times, it stays hidden until the right moment exposes it. If you get defensive when corrected or feel like you always have to prove yourself, pride might be at work. James 4:6 ESV says, “God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.” The truth is, holding onto pride doesn’t protect us—it only holds us back. I learned that the hard way.

For me, pride showed up in pre-marital counseling. Back then, I didn’t think I needed advice from anyone. I told myself, “The Holy Spirit will counsel me,” and while that’s true, I was using it as an excuse to avoidwise counsel from other believers. I had this I got it all figured out mindset. But honestly, I was just running from the process of growth.

Pain from my past…

Deep down, I was carrying pain from my past—things from childhood, past relationships, and disappointments that I never dealt with. But instead of facing it, I let pride keep me isolated. Eventually, I had to surrenderand get real about my struggles. I went to counseling, and through that, God started breaking down the walls I had built. As I humbled myself, I saw how much grace He gives when we stop trying to do everything on our own. That healing changed me, prepared me for marriage, and even allowed me to pour into others. If we’re going to lead, we have to be willing to receive counsel for ourselves first—otherwise, our words won’t carry any real weight when we go to counsel others.

Overcoming pride is a process!

Pride is something I still have to check daily. Just when I think I’ve surrendered one area, God shows me another. It’s a process. But I’ve learned that pride only leads to struggle, while humility opens the door to wisdom. Proverbs 11:2 ESV says, “When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with the humble is wisdom.” So let’s choose wisdom, let’s choose growth, and let’s walk in humility. Be encouraged today!

When Is Divorce OK?

03/10/2025 by Paztuh Mike

Fresh News, Monday Encouragement, Relationships

christianmarriage, divorce, Marriage, MondayEncouragement, PAZTUHMIKE

😔 Breaking the Cycle of Abuse…

When is divorce okay? We may be asking ourselves this, especially if we are in an abusive marriage. When we talk about abuse, the focus is usually on the victim—and for good reason. They have suffered deeply and should have never been put in that situation. But questions that rarely get asked are: Who is the abuser? What led them to this point? Were they once victims themselves? Understanding this doesn’t excuse their actions, but it does help us see the bigger picture of how the cycle of abuse continues.

If you’re in an abusive situation, it can feel like there’s no way out. Fear, hope, or uncertainty might keep you stuck. Maybe you’re asking yourself, “Doesn’t God hate divorce? When is divorce okay? Will things get worse if I leave? What if they finally change?” These are difficult questions with no easy answers, but God is faithful to lead us in each situation.

I have counseled both…

Over the years, I’ve counseled both victims and abusers, and I’ve seen just how complicated these situations can be. I also have my own story—one that offers a different perspective on abuse, healing, and change.

You’re not alone!

So whether you’re dealing with verbal or physical abuse, infidelity, or know someone who is, this video is for you. I encourage you to listen to this message with an open mind and know there is a way forward—you don’t have to go through this alone.

African American man and woman looking at each other with the text reading, “Selfish Marriage” behind them, there are two gold wedding rings below them.

How Do I Fix A Failing Marriage?

02/11/2025 by Paztuh Mike

Fresh News, Monday Encouragement, Relationships

christianmarriage, Marriage, marriageproblems, MondayEncouragement, PAZTUHMIKE, selfishness

😠 I was selfish…

Let’s be honest guys. Marriage is hard. In fact it’s one of the hardest commitments two human beings can make with one another. Some of us may be asking “How do I fix a failing marriage or relationship?” We may feel exhausted and losing hope of what to do. A healthy marriage or relationship is a selfless commitment. Two people coming together despite all of their mistakes and flaws and committing to a lifetime of growth? Now that is true sacrificial love.

I don’t say these things as if I have it all figured out. In fact I learned my own selfishness in marriage when my wife got cancer. I was there for her in a lot of ways, helping her to appointments, praying for her, etc. but emotionally I was distracted. At the time, financial and housing struggles filled me with a lot of fear and worry. This fear made it hard for me to be there for her mentally and emotionally in the way that I wanted to be.

The trial will reveal it…

The truth is, we are a lot more selfish as individuals than we even want to admit. This negatively affects not just our marriage but all other relationships as well. It may take that trial or stressor in life for us to really know the selfishness that was deep within us all along. But we can trust, that if God is exposing it, He wants to transform it.

Lean On God!

It’s impossible not to be selfish in our own strength. We will continuously fail and our marriage will suffer. But the good news is that we don’t have to do this in our own strength. We can press into God and be encouraged knowing that with God “all things are possible.” (Matthew 19:26) Will we be perfect? No. But with God, we can work towards sacrificial love improving not only our marriage, but every other relationship in our lives.